Brittany Lee Allen

Will I Still Sing as Loud?

After lying in a dentist chair for three hours, I finally walked to the front desk to check out. What was done was done—no turning back now.

The lady asked a question, and when I heard myself answer—immediate tears. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

At thirty years old, I sobbed in my car over the sound of my own voice. While driving home, I tried to sing. More tears! My lisp was so bad I sounded “ridiculousth.” 

“Well, obviously I can’t sing at church anymore.” I thought to myself. No more worship team for this brace-face. I’ve always lifted my voice unashamedly whether in the congregation or while helping to lead them in song, but now I’d decided those days were over. I’ll just quietly sing to myself…

Oh but wait…am I singing to myself or to God? Why the sudden change? Will I allow the alteration of my singing voice to be an excuse for not worshiping with my whole heart? Does the call to lift my voice in praise to the Lord change now? Was I merely singing to be heard before?

Maybe. Maybe not. I’m sure I was sometimes, sinner that I am. 

The Spirit pricked my heart that day. The question came to mind, will I still sing as loud? Will I still worship God with the voice he gave me or will I allow fear of man to reign in my heart? 

I decided my God is worthy of worship with my whole voice, regardless of its funny sound. So I still sing, lisp and all. For truly, he deserves to hear his praises to his name from every voice of earth. 

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