Clearly, I’m not the first person to address the viral article “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” And I won’t be the last, I’m sure. My purpose in writing this article is not to top any of the other rebuttals or to fully break down the ridiculous statements Mrs Alexander has made. I could write many words exposing how she has elevated marriage to be the highest goal for a woman, completely disregarding single women. I could spend a whole blog post on her comment about the need for our husbands to explain the Bible to us, as if women don’t have the capacity to understand deep theology. And I could thoroughly address her twisted view of complementarianism, her legalism and how she darkens the beauty of the gospel with it.
But I want to focus in on something I’ve found missing in the conversation: Godly men aren’t looking for tattoo-less, debt-free virgins.…
Lately, I’ve been pondering my younger years. You know, those awkward high school days, walking the halls just trying to blend in or even sometimes trying to stick out for attention. I’ve been in both camps. Some of you are there now.
I was a broken girl with a major craving for acceptance and the fleeting eyes of boys. A dangerous combination.
While there are hundreds of things I wish I’d known then, there is one which peers down over the others:
Boys are a lousy God.
The affection of boys flees faster than the quickest honey bee. It lands to rest on another wild flower until the sweetness is gone, and off it goes in search of another. Even the steadiest of men fall tremendously short from the steadfast love of the Lord.
We need not look down on them, though, as our feelings shift and waver just as fast.…
One thing that drives me nuts is the idea that real manhood equals a life of hunting, driving big trucks, and owning multiple guns.
Mostly, because I look around and see many men who just aren’t wired that way. Some men care more about computers and would rather sleep in a comfy bed than in a tent. Just like women aren’t all interested in pretty dresses and Anne of Green Gables, men shouldn’t be considered “manly” by their hobbies and interests.
And just as scripture should inform our minds about biblical womanhood, motherhood and the like, we must allow scripture to teach us what true manhood is as well.
So, on behalf of my single girls, I decided to look to the Creator of men to find what is true manhood as he designed and the true characteristics you should be looking for in a potential husband.
“I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you.”
“Don’t you know you’re not the first woman to try to change him?”
These boringly predictable quotes came through my car speakers on the radio last week. Again, the objectification of women and distortion of God’s design for sex is promoted as this years “love” story for Valentines Day.
But it’s far from it.
Darker is Not Better
I am not writing this to change the mind of the culture. I don’t expect those outside of Christianity to agree with me. But with each Christ claiming woman I see promoting this movie, my heart aches. It aches for their indiscretion and for the watching world that sees them profess love for the Lord and then pay to see a movie that profanes his name.
Though this article is meant to get to the root issue behind the reason this movie is so popular, I have to address the obvious content.…
I called my boyfriend over and over again until he finally picked up by accident.
At first, I wasn’t sure what I was hearing. Just muffled voices stuffed in his pocket.
Then I heard her voice saying, “Did she hear us?!” followed by a quick disconnect.
My whole body went numb and my heart beat so fast I was instantly nauseous. Breathing became nearly impossible and shock was like a physical barrier to the tears that begged to flow.
He’s cheating on me.
Earlier that evening, I had paraded around in lingerie and heels while my photograph was taken. I felt “sexy” and wanted. The culture told me this was who I needed to become in order to be fully desired by men. If I couldn’t stop my boyfriend from looking at porn, I needed to join him by dressing, acting and looking like one of those women. I was a model, surely I was enough for him now.…
There are men other than my Husband who know me deeply. They know about my childhood, my struggles and dreams. I wish I could say I’m talking about my Dad and another Father figure but unfortunately, that isn’t the case. They were my previous boyfriends.
As a teen, I was on a long search to be known. I craved it like Chipotle or ice cream. I needed to be known, to be understood. So, I was pretty much an open book begging to be read by any boy who showed interest. Oh please, let me tell you about all the ways I have been hurt in my life! It made me feel close to them–even if we weren’t physically close.
The problem is, my ex-boyfriends were never meant to have those pieces of my mind. I was never meant to be deeply known by those men. I should have reserved those deeper hurts and fears for my Husband alone (Lucky him!).…