Clearly, I’m not the first person to address the viral article “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” And I won’t be the last, I’m sure. My purpose in writing this article is not to top any of the other rebuttals or to fully break down the ridiculous statements Mrs Alexander has made. I could write many words exposing how she has elevated marriage to be the highest goal for a woman, completely disregarding single women. I could spend a whole blog post on her comment about the need for our husbands to explain the Bible to us, as if women don’t have the capacity to understand deep theology. And I could thoroughly address her twisted view of complementarianism, her legalism and how she darkens the beauty of the gospel with it.
But I want to focus in on something I’ve found missing in the conversation: Godly men aren’t looking for tattoo-less, debt-free virgins.…
Lately, I’ve been pondering my younger years. You know, those awkward high school days, walking the halls just trying to blend in or even sometimes trying to stick out for attention. I’ve been in both camps. Some of you are there now.
I was a broken girl with a major craving for acceptance and the fleeting eyes of boys. A dangerous combination.
While there are hundreds of things I wish I’d known then, there is one which peers down over the others:
Boys are a lousy God.
The affection of boys flees faster than the quickest honey bee. It lands to rest on another wild flower until the sweetness is gone, and off it goes in search of another. Even the steadiest of men fall tremendously short from the steadfast love of the Lord.
We need not look down on them, though, as our feelings shift and waver just as fast.…
“I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you.”
“Don’t you know you’re not the first woman to try to change him?”
These boringly predictable quotes came through my car speakers on the radio last week. Again, the objectification of women and distortion of God’s design for sex is promoted as this years “love” story for Valentines Day.
But it’s far from it.
Darker is Not Better
I am not writing this to change the mind of the culture. I don’t expect those outside of Christianity to agree with me. But with each Christ claiming woman I see promoting this movie, my heart aches. It aches for their indiscretion and for the watching world that sees them profess love for the Lord and then pay to see a movie that profanes his name.
Though this article is meant to get to the root issue behind the reason this movie is so popular, I have to address the obvious content.…
Right now, as you read this article, Christian women across the world are silently wrestling with lust. You might be one of them.
Clothed in shame over their failed attempts to fight on their own, they hide.
She’s the single girl who wasn’t taught correctly about purity and God’s design for sex. She’s the married mom of two, who’s struggle didn’t end when she found her husband, like she thought it would. She’s the teen with new desires. She’s the older women in the pew next to you.
And she’s in desperate need of help before it’s too late.
Truly, it’s an epidemic.
This epidemic of women pretending like lust doesn’t exist in all of our lives. We walk around as if we have fully eluded its grip, unscathed.
But most of us, if not all, haven’t.
The Reality of Lust Among Christian Women
Out of all of the articles I’ve written, one has stuck out as most popular by a landslide.…
I laid there, anxiously awaiting the morning and the events to come. Soon, I would put on my button up shirt and comfy shorts, just like they told me. I’d sit in a room with some of the dearest women to my heart, as curls were strategically placed in my hair. I’d rest my eyes as my friend brushed shimmery colors upon my eyelids.
And then, I’d slip on that dress. The one I had longed to wear all my life.
I can’t even begin to explain the load of emotions I felt that night and the next day. If I could sum them up in just one word it would be…redemption.
Only years before, I could have been named among Gomer and the adulterous woman. I was a slave to sin who lacked the desire for freedom. My body and heart were not places of purity, but rather, tools to get what I wanted; to feel loved–even for just a moment.…
Lately, my Pinterest feed has been flooded with bra-less, stomach-baring, booty short-wearing young women. Pictures neatly pinned to the “My Style” board of so many teens and young-20’s, showing the world what their ideal style is.
And my heart breaks.
Before the Lord saved me, I could have been one of those gals in the pictures. In fact, I was. I’m the first to admit that my clothing choices before Christ were quite promiscuous. This lined up perfectly with my heart that was equally immoral.
The way I dressed displayed what resided in my heart: A deep desire to be noticed, sought out and viewed as “sexy” by men. In a word, sensuality.
And it ruled my heart.
What Rules Your Heart?
The Bible doesn’t have a ton to say about modesty and there definitely aren’t any specific rules. This makes it a hard topic to approach. Since God is sovereign over his Word, he must have done this for a reason.…