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Stuck Between Sin and a Heart Change

Stuck Between Sin and a Heart Change

I’m in the middle.

I bet you’ve been in the middle before too. That frustrating point between God’s revealing of a need for change and a heart that’s struggling to get there. The part in sanctification where you feel exposed—you see your sin and you’re doing all the right, practical things to grow, but the knowledge is taking its sweet time making its way from head to heart. Maybe you’re even frustrated, like me, that you’ve not grown more by this point—that none of your efforts seem to make a difference.

“Why won’t you just change me God?!” He’s sovereign. He could say a word and make my heart feel differently. And yet, in the middle of seeing my sin and feeling my heart change is where my feet still stand.

I’ve listened to the sermons, I’ve prayed and prayed, I’ve studied applicable passages, but I still find myself at the feet of Jesus, begging for his help, asking him to free me.…

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Habits to Aid Your Meditation on God and His Word

Habits to Aid Your Meditation on God and His Word

This article originally appeared on the Well-Watered Women Blog.


Have you ever longed to sit and savor a moment? Maybe it was the first time your baby was placed on your chest, or the feeling of a spring breeze carrying the scent of honeysuckle to your nose. That moment when your boyfriend went down on one knee, or when you gazed upon the earth from the summit of the mountain you just conquered. If we could bottle up those moments, I bet we would. 

What if those things are meant to draw our eyes upward? What if savoring those moments is meant to cause us to savor the Savior? What if savoring leads to meditation on God and his Word?

“I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.” (Psalm 119:15 ESV)

We seek the Lord through the study of his Word, gleaning knowledge and wisdom from the pages and applying it to our daily lives.…

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Releasing My Death Grip on this Season

Releasing My Death Grip on this Season

In a couple of months, I’ll lay my son down in his crib as an infant and he’ll awake as a toddler. I wasn’t prepared for my heart to physically ache at the thought of my baby no longer being a baby. People coached me to be thankful for this season because it’s gone too fast. But rather than wishing for it to end, I dread the thought of losing it. In my seeking to savor, I fear I’ve begun to cling too tightly to the here and now. 

Freezing Time

Maybe it’s because I missed this with my other babies. I know it’s partially that I fear I’ll never experience it again. I want to freeze time, take it all in, but life is moving too fast. While many around me have arms stretched toward what’s next, I’ve got a death grip on this season, grieved at the thought of closing its chapter.…

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It Was the Season of the Psalms

It Was the Season of the Psalms

“How long, O Lord?”

Two tears fell to the pages of my Bible one after the other as lament sprung from my lips. More tears followed. Words could no longer be spoken with clarity and I took comfort in the fact that the Spirit was interceding the groans of my heart. Groans like, “Lord, why do you keep taking my babies?” and “I’m so weary of this grief.” and “help.” 

Three years ago today, we lost our first baby, ushering us into a world of chaos and suffering that went on for some time. It was a season of Psalms. Recurrent miscarriage with a layer of childlessness will cause a woman to sit there awhile, echoing heartfelt prayers of previous suffering saints. It’ll cause a woman to “drench her couch with her weeping” as I did that day (Psalm 6:6). Surely, “my eyes wasted away with grief” (Psalm 6:7).…

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I Didn’t Choose the Writing Life

I Didn’t Choose the Writing Life

I know of a sacred place—sacred to me anyway. Walk alongside the rose bushes by my Mamaw’s dusty blue house, pass by the strawberry garden and the cherry tree. Keep going and you’ll see the pine tree my brother planted as a little boy in the middle of the blues and yellows and pinks of the flower garden. Pause to take in the peculiarity of the snapdragons and the sweet aroma of the pink roses. Through the arch where the grapevines crawl, you’ll find a little girl, singing songs to the horses on the farm across the lake. She sang “Amazing Grace” to the goats and geese long before she had a clue what it meant, making it a sweeter song when she found out at the age of twenty-one.

She also used to “write songs” in the garage and believed she’d be a big star someday. Praise the Lord she was wrong.…

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Some Women are Relieved to Miss Church on Mother’s Day

Some Women are Relieved to Miss Church on Mother’s Day

It’s my first Mother’s Day with a baby on my hip and we’re in self-isolation. I hadn’t even thought about it until others brought it to my attention. And truly, it makes no difference to me. But many women are saddened by the reality that they can’t attend church on this special day. I’ve been thinking about this holiday in years past and how hard it was at times. I was pondering what I might feel if I was still struggling with childlessness.

While some women might be sad about missing church on Mother’s Day this year, I know some of you are relieved.

This is the first year you don’t have to make the hard decision to either stay home for fear of salt being poured in your wound, or go knowing you’ll have to hide your grief until you’ve found a safe place to cry out, “how long, O Lord?”…

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