“Well actually, we’re waiting until our wedding night.”
“Are you serious?!” My coworker looked at me in shock and confusion. I was ready for this sort of response, having spent most of my life living as a woman of the world rather than a woman of the Word. “I know it seems crazy. I used to think it was but then I became a Christian.” “So, you weren’t always a Christian?” I continued the conversation, sharing how I lived a life of utter promiscuity until God saved me.
Ruth or Gomer?
Like my coworker, I previously believed I could never live a life of purity. It’s a bizarre thought to the mind which has yet to be renewed by Christ. Back then, I could have been named among Gomer and the adulterous woman. (Hosea 1:2-3; John 8:3-11) I was a slave to sin who lacked the desire for freedom. My body and heart were not places of purity, but rather, tools to get what I wanted; to feel loved—even for just a moment.
The world told me this gave me power. The many scars on my heart revealed a different story. A story of emptiness, shame and fear.
Maybe you can relate? Maybe you feel like your story aligns more closely with the Gomers of the Bible than with Ester or Ruth? You might feel like the most sinful woman in your church. The truth is, you and I are no more sinful than anyone. All humans are totally depraved and hold within us the ability to commit grave sins. But we’ve seen things their minds were protected from; we’ve been to places they never traveled; we know things they’re blessed not to know. Is there hope for women like us?
There is. There’s hope for the girl with a sexual past because Jesus has redeemed her by his death on the cross, freeing her from her previous bondage, and cleansing her under the fountain of his blood, if indeed she has turned to him for salvation.
If you’ve repented and trusted in Christ to save you, no matter what your past looks like, you are redeemed. What beautiful, joy-inducing news!
He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossians 1:13-14 ESV)
We know what it’s like to live in the domain of darkness. But God has transferred us into the kingdom of Jesus. We were once alienated but through Christ we’re brought near.
And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him… (Colossians 1:21-22 ESV)
The most transforming truth in my own life is that God not only forgives me of all my sin but also cleanses me by the blood of Jesus. When we become believers, our scarlet sins are made white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 ESV)
He is faithful to cleanse us. What an amazing truth to cling to and remind ourselves of daily.
Let’s be honest, with a sexual past comes a lot of baggage and shame. Here’s the thing: Jesus not only cleanses us of our sin but he went as far as taking our shame upon himself on the cross. You and I no longer have to bear the shame of our past! Our Savior bore it for us. (Isaiah 53:4-6)
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. (1 Peter 2:24 ESV)
Our sin, our shame—all of it—was laid on Jesus. We are cleansed.
Where sexual sin is found there will also be a variation of bondage. Your chains might look different than the next gal’s, but they’re chains nonetheless. Some will come to Jesus bearing the memories in their minds, some are addicted to porn. Others may feel stuck in a cycle of lust or in a sexually immoral relationship. These situations may look and feel hopeless—but they are no match for the power of God working in the believer.
When Jesus was raised from the grave, he broke the chains of sin and death. This means the Christian is no longer enslaved to sin. She has a new heart enabling her to choose to say no to sin by the same power which raised Christ from the dead. (Romans 8:11)
We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. (Romans 6:6-7 ESV)
Sin is our master no more. We are free.
Oh friend, you are a new creation. The past is gone and now your mind will continue to be renewed day by day as you seek Jesus in the Word, through prayer, and fellowship with other saints.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV)
You are redeemed.
You are cleansed.
You are free.
Hi, Brittany. I discovered your blog through this post on Tim Challies’ A La Carte. First of all, thanks for your transparent testimony of God’s grace in your life. I know how hard that can be sometimes. Praise the Lord for His powerful grace in your life! Even though I’m a guy, I appreciated this article and the Scriptural encouragement you provide. I’m sure it will encourage many.
If it would be of any help at all to the women to whom you minister, I wanted to let you know about a blog and podcast I host called Purity Point (https://www.puritypoint.org/). The goal of this ministry is to help Christians overcome pornography use through Christ-centered truth and practical strategies.
Though porn is obviously a problem among men, I know more and more women are using it too. I’ve tried to make my material applicable and accessible both to men and women, though I’m not sure how well I’ve done that because I’m a man. I have a burden that women not be overlooked in this area, though, so any advice you could give for how I could make sure women are included in my ministry would be appreciated.
Thanks again for your writing ministry. Grace and peace!
Thank you so much for sharing Brittany. This is such an important topic and one that I’ve struggled with my whole life. God’s words through you have really encouraged me and reminded me that there is hope and freedom from lust. I really needed this. Thank you again and God bless you, your family and your ministry!