Blessings and Birth Injuries
Every morning I wake up hoping that today will be the day I can walk again. I slowly try to lift myself only to feel paralyzed by pain. The once simple task of rolling over to get out of bed has become one that I dread every single sunrise. Once I finally make it out […]
And God Watered my Cucumbers
Three days equaled two hours of sleep.It’s the place where brain fog and emotions are high.I’ve been staring out the window,I need to water the cucumbers. I sit in the chaise lounge,Nursing through blood, sweat, and tears.Latching sometimes takes hours,So I can’t water the cucumbers. My husband holds the baby,My firstborn looks at me and,I […]
The Storms that Flood the Fruit
Years ago, on a whim, I grabbed a bag of zinnia seeds and scattered its contents into the empty earth of my flower bed. A few weeks later, after I’d just lost our first baby at 9 weeks, they began to bloom. The tall sea of flowers became a sort of oasis for me. Bright […]
Sin has Stolen Much; Christ will Restore it All
I felt them coming. The tears. The ones that had been threatening to flow from my eyes all morning as we prepared to go to the church we were visiting. It was there, in the corner of the nursery and surrounded by strangers and small children, that the dam broke. The more I fought it, […]
Anxiety, That Old Beast
Anxiety, that old beast. It looms heavy over my head and heart, making me feel paralyzed. It wraps its arms around my lungs and squeezes so tightly my breathing becomes labored. It reaches into my entire being and makes me tremble with fear. I’m always surprised at how quickly I can go from being completely […]
Nothing Bitter, Only Sweet
My view from the couch was perfect. Ahead of me were one set of big arms and one set of little arms, clapping and shaking high above the heads that belonged to each body. Legs jumped and shuffled to the music and an unbreakable smile spread across my face. Joy. The arms and legs in […]