This article was originally published at Whole Magazine as part of their Attributes of God series.

We spend our lives wondering, don’t we? “I wonder if I’ll get the job.” “I wonder if I’ll get married.” “I wonder why this is happening.“

It’s natural. We long for answers—for knowledge of things past, present, and future. In a world where Google is our nerdy best friend, we’re tempted to become frustrated by our lack of understanding, or worse, we might even become despairing. Our sinful nature causes us to long for the perfect knowledge that isn’t attainable for the human mind. But even if our “why’s and what if’s” go unanswered, we have a trustworthy God who holds the answers in his hands. 

God Knows All Things

Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord,
    or what man shows him his counsel?
Whom did he consult,
    and who made him understand?

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalm 56:3 ESV)

The sum of prayers whispered to heaven asking God to sustain our baby boy’s life are innumerable to my little mind. I can’t even begin to count them. It started from the moment I knew another child had taken root in my womb. Faithfully, my lips repeat it during every morning prayer, bathroom break, mealtime blessing, bedtime thanksgiving, and many moments in between. Many times, it’s followed by a heart that pleads, “I trust you, Lord. Help me trust you.”

The more his tiny body moves across my hand from within as if to say “hello mama,” the more I’m simultaneously confronted with two thoughts: 1. I love this little boy so much my heart could explode. 2. Oh, how it would hurt to lose him now.

Deep love + deep fear.

Pregnancy after losing three unborn babies for me has been filled with peace that truly surpasses understanding, but also fear that tries to wrap its arms around my heart.…

She lashed out at her kids again. She knows it’s wrong but just feels like she has no control over her tongue. “They just make me so angry!” she says.

…

Another woman is hit with intense temptation again. The weight is almost unbearable. She figures, if she gives in, she’ll at least have some relief. But there’s no relief in a porn addiction.

…

One girl feels panic coming into her heart like a freight train. She spent the day allowing her mind to be filled with fear and worry. As night falls, the anxiety presses upon her and she can’t breathe. She feels paralyzed, all while her body flails from the attack.

What do all these women have in common?

A desperate need for freedom.

Free in Christ

True freedom from sin only comes from genuine faith in Jesus. (Romans 6). Until God saves us, we cannot choose anything other than sin.…

She was like me. Anxiety plagued her.

Not the kind that makes you nervous but the all consuming, paralyzing, depression causing beast that is true anxiety.

We had different views, she and I. I believed the root of anxiety was my sinful distrust in God. She had been told that she suffered a chemical imbalance.

But which diagnosis holds more hope?

I dare say the first one.

The Bondage of Anxiety

In scripture, we only find anxiety referred to as a sin or something to cast off and replace with trust in God. And while I do think it’s possible that a percentage of men and women may experience panic attacks due to an imbalance of some sort, the majority of sufferers may only be tending to the surface wounds of a deeper issue.

If this is so, the medications they use could be the very thing tightening the cuffs on their hands and feet, keeping them chained to the thing they hate most.…

This article was originally written for Broken Beautiful Bold Ministries here.

We are a broken people, am I right?

Each of us come from various backgrounds and upbringings that shape our character and struggles. We have been broken by others, broken by this world and are undeniably broken at the core of our being. For the Christian, we may have trouble reconciling with the “whys” of our heartbreaks.

Why did God allow that?
Why do I struggle against this sin?
Why won’t he just take this pain away?

I, myself, have wrestled (and sometimes still do) with these very questions. At times they have come from my lips in a humble request for understanding. But many times, my “why” has been spoken with tears on my cheeks and anger in my heart.

In my walk with the Lord, I have learned that he uses our brokenness in stunning ways.  He does this not only in our own life, but also in the lives of others and to show the world his Gospel story.…

We came to a halt as we walked on the beach that evening to gaze at the beauty placed before us. How vast was this ocean? How beautiful were the pinks and oranges dazzling against the turquoise water? How intricate was each curling wave? And how amazing is the God who formed it?

The sea is his, for he made it… (Psalm 95:5a ESV)

We had been talking about a fear of mine and my need to trust the Lord. As I looked out as far as I could see, I thought to myself, “Sometimes I think all my fears could fill the ocean.” I thought about all the “unknowns” swimming in the deep dark sea. Some of them scary, while others interesting and exciting to discover. Earlier that day my brother in law informed me of a nearby jellyfish as I stood waist down in the water. You better believe I booked it to the shore as fast as the current would allow (not very fast FYI.) You just don’t know what’s coming until it’s there.…