There are men other than my Husband who know me deeply. They know about my childhood, my struggles and dreams. I wish I could say I’m talking about my Dad and another Father figure but unfortunately, that isn’t the case. They were my previous boyfriends.
As a teen, I was on a long search to be known. I craved it like Chipotle or ice cream. I needed to be known, to be understood. So, I was pretty much an open book begging to be read by any boy who showed interest. Oh please, let me tell you about all the ways I have been hurt in my life! It made me feel close to them–even if we weren’t physically close.
The problem is, my ex-boyfriends were never meant to have those pieces of my mind. I was never meant to be deeply known by those men. I should have reserved those deeper hurts and fears for my Husband alone (Lucky him!).…
This isn’t the case for everyone. Many couples have fallen into sin, repented and are happily married. But we knew that wouldn’t be the case for us. Like most Christians, we wanted so badly to honor God with our dating and engagement stage. My Husband came from a Christian home and had remained physically pure the entire 27 years of his life before we married. I, on the other hand, had done the exact opposite until the Lord captured my heart when I was 21.
Even coming from such contrasting backgrounds, we both were so very aware of the destruction premarital sex reaps. He, from God’s word and, I, from experience. To be clear, I am speaking of all types of sex, not just the main event. (Can’t believe I just wrote that. Awkward…)
There’s a lie, still weaving its way through Christian circles. It’s the thought that purity is merely refusing to participate in certain sinful activities. It started when, in hopes to strike fear into adolescents, we began setting up various rules regarding what makes us pure. People became identified as such when they abstained from sex until marriage. If they wore a purity ring and didn’t ride in cars with boys, surely they were on the right path!
But because we missed the foundation of what being pure actually looks like and why we should strive for it, many Christians were remaining faithful to a point, but coming as close to the line as possible.
A Heart Issue
Now, I’m not saying we should toss out all the boundaries and rally in a free for all. But this issue is much broader than whether or not a person has “saved themselves for marriage.”…