“Well actually, we’re waiting until our wedding night.”
“Are you serious?!” My coworker looked at me in shock and confusion. I was ready for this sort of response, having spent most of my life living as a woman of the world rather than a woman of the Word. “I know it seems crazy. I used to think it was but then I became a Christian.” “So, you weren’t always a Christian?” I continued the conversation, sharing how I lived a life of utter promiscuity until God saved me.
Ruth or Gomer?
Like my coworker, I previously believed I could never live a life of purity. It’s a bizarre thought to the mind which has yet to be renewed by Christ. Back then, I could have been named among Gomer and the adulterous woman. (Hosea 1:2-3; John 8:3-11) I was a slave to sin who lacked the desire for freedom. My body and heart were not places of purity, but rather, tools to get what I wanted; to feel loved—even for just a moment.…
I’ve never been a “birth story” kinda gal. Only a couple times have I found myself reading one. In fact, birth stories made me anxious. They caused me to fear the discomfort and pain that accompany ushering a child into the world.
Then, as I walked through loss after loss, birth stories reminded me of delivering the three babies I desperately longed to meet but never got to. They made me long for a different story than the one God had ordained for my life—one where babies don’t die in utero and mamas don’t have to live with an ache so deep. So I began to avoid birth stories in an effort to keep my mind fixed on Jesus and content with the lot he had given me.
Honestly, I find it weird that I’m sitting on my couch, staring at my computer and writing this today. But as I ponder what took place just a few weeks ago, I’m left in awe of God.…
When my eyes awakened to the morning light after another nearly sleepless night of pain, I immediately realized it would be a rough day. I slowly turned over, bringing my knees together in my venture to leave the bed. With every inch of movement—deep, sharp pain. My weak body popped and crackled, causing my face to grimace. Limping to the bathroom, I thanked the Lord I could still walk today, though every step ushered in pelvic pain.
All Grass Has Brown Spots
If I’m honest, though our losses have given me a perspective I know I’d have lacked before regarding pregnancy, I still have moments where my physical endurance comes up short. I haven’t shared fully about the struggles this pregnancy has brought to my body because I never want to tempt anyone’s heart toward bitterness. Nor do I want others to assume I’m ungrateful. Truly, I’ve learned what a beautiful gift it is to be able to carry a child in the womb which enables me to face these things with joy even if I am weary of shots in my sides and Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (look it up) which causes deep pain with every movement.…
This article was originally published at Whole Magazine as part of their Attributes of God series.
We spend our lives wondering, don’t we? “I wonder if I’ll get the job.” “I wonder if I’ll get married.” “I wonder why this is happening.“
It’s natural. We long for answers—for knowledge of things past, present, and future. In a world where Google is our nerdy best friend, we’re tempted to become frustrated by our lack of understanding, or worse, we might even become despairing. Our sinful nature causes us to long for the perfect knowledge that isn’t attainable for the human mind. But even if our “why’s and what if’s” go unanswered, we have a trustworthy God who holds the answers in his hands.
God Knows All Things
Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord, or what man shows him his counsel? Whom did he consult, and who made him understand?
This article originally was published on Whole Magazine.
In the quiet of night and the darkness of dusk, it calls out for you. It lures you in with its whispers as it begs to be pondered. The saying is true that “sin crouches at the door,” offering sweet lies but seeking to devour you (Genesis 4:7).
I don’t know your reason for tuning in. Maybe it’s curiosity. Maybe it promises satisfaction to your sexual appetite. It could be a way to find out what men seem to desire in a woman. Whatever your reason is, it’s not a good one. There are no good or logical reasons to watch porn. Anything seemingly pleasing it offers you is permeated with deceit.
Don’t be deceived, it will indeed take you down and destroy you.
Porn Will Kill Your Conscience
Did you know, every time we look at sex on a screen, our conscience dims a bit more?…
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalm 56:3 ESV)
The sum of prayers whispered to heaven asking God to sustain our baby boy’s life are innumerable to my little mind. I can’t even begin to count them. It started from the moment I knew another child had taken root in my womb. Faithfully, my lips repeat it during every morning prayer, bathroom break, mealtime blessing, bedtime thanksgiving, and many moments in between. Many times, it’s followed by a heart that pleads, “I trust you, Lord. Help me trust you.”
The more his tiny body moves across my hand from within as if to say “hello mama,” the more I’m simultaneously confronted with two thoughts: 1. I love this little boy so much my heart could explode. 2. Oh, how it would hurt to lose him now.
Deep love + deep fear.
Pregnancy after losing three unborn babies for me has been filled with peace that truly surpasses understanding, but also fear that tries to wrap its arms around my heart.…