Brittany Lee Allen

She's the single girl who wasn't taught correctly about purity and God's design for sex. She's the married mom of two, who's struggle didn't end when she found her husband, like she thought it would. She's the teen with new desires. She's the older women in the pew next to you. And she's in desperate need of help before it's too late.

The Church Needs Women Who Are Open About Lust

Right now, as you read this article, Christian women across the world are silently wrestling with lust. You might be one of them.

Clothed in shame over their failed attempts to fight on their own, they hide.

She’s the single girl who wasn’t taught correctly about purity and God’s design for sex. She’s the married mom of two, who’s struggle didn’t end when she found her husband, like she thought it would. She’s the teen with new desires. She’s the older women in the pew next to you.

And she’s in desperate need of help before it’s too late.

Truly, it’s an epidemic.

This epidemic of women pretending like lust doesn’t exist in all of our lives. We walk around as if we have fully eluded its grip, unscathed.

But most of us, if not all, haven’t.

The Reality of Lust Among Christian Women

Out of all of the articles I’ve written, one has stuck out as most popular by a landslide. People think lust is prominently a man’s problem, but my blog analytics would beg to differ. In this article, I shared how I battled lustand the amount of clicks reveal how big of an issue lust truly is for women in the Church.

They are looking for answers to their struggle, and while they search, 90% of us turn a blind eye rather than offering a helping hand.

We all have sinned sexually in some manner, whether it be in our mind or with our bodies. But I’ve known very few women who have been transparent about it.

I have, however, been in a room full of women while a dear sister shared her struggle. And out of all of the ladies gathered, only one spoke up to help her step out of isolation and into healing.


The Church Needs Openness in the Battle

We need to be more transparent about sin, during the battle and after, for the sake of healing and restoration.

Women struggling with lust need to be open with other godly women they’re close to. This is not something to fight on your own. You need help, and the Lord has given you the Body of Christ for this very purpose.

If you want to have victory, you must step into the light.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16 ESV)

Confession sheds light on a dark situation and there is much healing in bringing sin to the surface. The grip of sin loosens when a believer refuses to keep silent in their struggle.

The Church Needs Openness After the Battle

Oftentimes, what keeps women entangled in lust, is that they feel alone in their sin. Maybe the lie Satan is whispering in their ear is true: they are way more wicked than the women around them. And only they have a heart bent toward lust.

What a disheartening and absolutely paralyzing thought! I have felt this way and I’m betting many of you have too. That’s because the topic is rarely on the table in most Christian circles.

But it’s the secret struggles against sin that plant the seeds which can ruin a church.

Men and women are too afraid to seek counsel about that first thought of someone other than their spouse or their ongoing addiction to pornography. And this fear leads them down the treacherous pathway of more sin, more addiction, a heavier weight of shame and ultimately, spiritual death (James 1:15).

What if there was a culture of honesty regarding lust and sexual sin? What if Christian women had paved the way before them in transparency and hope, showing them the way out of the darkness?

What if we were less concerned about what people may think about us and more concerned with the spiritual well being of our dear sisters in Christ?

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. (Galatians 6:1-3 ESV)

My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20 ESV)

Transparency Paired With Discretion

This is not a call to post your porn addiction on Facebook, nor do I want you to tell everyone about your current or previous struggle with lust.

What I’m asking of women in the Body of Christ is this:

  1. Commit to openness with godly women in your church when you need help.
  2. Commit to loving other women by allowing God to use your victories as hope in their lives as they battle lust. This means speaking up when you see a sister in need.

Let’s stand up for our sisters in Christ by bearing their burdens, even the burdens we’ve previously put to death in our own lives. The Church needs women who are open about lust.

14 Responses

    1. Yes, we definitely need to pray that God would give us grace to say no to lust and also to help other women in their battle.

  1. Wow! Women are usually too ashamed to speak of this. I have a friend who struggled with this and I was the only person she felt comfortable admitting it to. Her shame pulled her away from the church. It really is sad how women get harshly judged in these matters. Wow, again. Thank you for sharing!!

    1. Lust is a shameful thing but those in Christ can be freed from that shame and have victory over it but they have to step out of the darkness and into the light.

  2. I’m really passionate about this topic. I fell prey to lust that still taints my experience (and I’ve been married 18 years) because my mother, in best intentions, never informed me about sex. I was left to a few hints from my older sister, friends and culture teaching me what’s right. Now as the parent of 2 daughters, both disabled, I’m working hard to make them understand God’s values for family and sex life before it’s too late. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Yes! It’s vital for parents to have those difficult, open conversations with their teens! They will learn about it somewhere.

  3. So very true! We as women in the church need to create safe spaces for other women to tell the truth without fear of condemnation or worse yet – gossip! A recent study says the segment of population that is growing the fastest in the area of porn addiction is within women. No doubt that transfers to women within the church. Thanks for shedding light onto a sensitive and shame-filled secret. I pray it helps other women find safe spaces to speak their truth!

  4. Yes!! I cannot agree with you more!! When I first started struggling with lust, I felt like I was alone, and I felt like I couldn’t turn to anyone because no one was having open and honest conversations about women and lust. Thank you so much for being so passionate and so honest about this!!

    1. That’s exactly why I feel the NEED to be so transparent. So women will find freedom and healing! Thanks for reading!

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