Brittany Lee Allen

The affection of boys flees faster than the quickest honey bee. It lands to rest on another wild flower until the sweetness is gone, and off it goes in search of another. Even the steadiest of men fall tremendously short from the steadfast love of the Lord.

Boys Are a Lousy God

Lately, I’ve been pondering my younger years. You know, those awkward high school days, walking the halls just trying to blend in or even sometimes trying to stick out for attention. I’ve been in both camps. Some of you are there now.

I was a broken girl with a major craving for acceptance and the fleeting eyes of boys. A dangerous combination.

While there are hundreds of things I wish I’d known then, there is one which peers down over the others:

Boys are a lousy God.

Chasing Impossibility

The affection of boys flees faster than the quickest honey bee. It lands to rest on another wild flower until the sweetness is gone, and off it goes in search of another. Even the steadiest of men fall tremendously short from the steadfast love of the Lord.

We need not look down on them, though, as our feelings shift and waver just as fast.

Humans are not meant to bear the weight of being another’s god. We’re crushed under even the smallest of pressures. If you are chasing the affection of boys, you are chasing the wind; sprinting after impossibility. No one wins in a race like that.

No human being on this earth can satisfy your every longing. No boy can save you from your own wandering heart.

Only Jesus.

READ: You Will Never Be Enough For That Guy

The Path That Leads To Brokenness

I know a girl.

Everything she did, she did it for attention from guys. Her clothes, her flirtatious looks and her curious words. All things were tools to get what she wanted. She would sneak out to ride in cars with boys who’d take her to parties.

In her senior year, she started dating someone. The immediate passion mixed with his manipulation and her anger fits, made for a toxic relationship that lasted on and off for 3 1/2 years. She was scared to leave because of his abusive nature.

When she finally got the courage to leave him, she immediately took to the next guy who wooed her. When that was over, a new guy was in the picture. One that would cheat on her multiple times. She did all she could to fit the mold he requested. And after a 1 1/2 years of shattered dreams and heart wounds, she sat on her bed weeping as she glanced at the ring on her finger that now meant nothing. She contemplated suicide like she did during all those other break ups.

She laid crushed under the weight of the idol of men.

That girl was me. And ya’ll, that’s not even half of the brokenness and sin that was my life. Not. Even. Half.

I sacrificed my heart and purity on the alter of boys. My story is not unique. I am not the exception. This is where the path leads many, many women. And dear friend, I don’t want that for you!

Anything we make into an idol will lead to heartbreak. If not stopped, those idols destroy us. God is jealous over the affection of his children. (Exodus 34:14).

READ: My Broken Engagement Was God’s Greatest Gift To Me

Jesus is Sufficient

Jesus far exceeds any created thing. Not only is he a better Savior, he is the only Savior. (John 14:6).

Contrary to how you may feel, you don’t need a boyfriend or husband. You need Jesus.

Jesus is sufficient for every struggle, fear and longing of your heart. Truly, only he is worthy of our worship. (Revelation 5:9-14).

Has your boyfriend(or husband) lived perfectly on your behalf? (1 Peter 2:22). Has he died the death you deserve and paid your sin debt with his life’s blood? (1 Peter 1:18-19). Has he risen from the grave, breaking the chains of sin that held you captive and granting you eternal life? (Romans 6).

No. He hasn’t.

Only Jesus has done those things. And how dare we blindly turn to lesser loves as if they can save and satisfy us! As we fix our eyes on other idols, he stands saying, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” And he pursues our hearts until they are fully his. May the kindness of the Lord draw us to repentance! (Romans 2:4).

Choose Who You Will Serve

Friend, I pray you feel the urgency in my heart through these words. Lay down the weight of worshiping boys and pick up your cross. Jesus says his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

Choose this day who you will serve. Jesus or the created thing? One leads to destruction, the other to eternal life. (Romans 1:18-32; John 10:28).

I pray you choose Jesus. He is so very worthy.

And they sang a new song, saying, “Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.” Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped. (Revelation 5:9-14 ESV)

7 Responses

  1. I can relate so much! I did the exact same thing as a teen. I so wish I would have known the love of God in high school. My consequences have effected my marriage. I pray that young girls can read this and be encouraged

  2. Wow Brittany! Thank you for sharing this. It’s gives so much to think about. I have hung on to the same guy for almost 20 years. I would say it’s been a waste but I got 4 wonderful children out of it. It’s so hard for me to let go. I have struggled with this for a very late my time. Since December I have really began to explore my life and expand my faith. I have always been a Christian but have not given my entire life over to God. I tend to try to jandle things on my own. I now pray harder and study the word. Surprisingly my lif seems to have gotten a little tougher. My Dad said God told him I am under spiritual attack. That justices me fight harder. Thank you for your inspirational words!

    1. Ginger, I’m so thankful to you for reading! And I’m beyond excited to hear that you are striving to live for the Lord. He is truly worthy of your whole self! When I became a believer, my life circumstances got harder as well. God allows those hard things in our life to draw us closer to him and trust him more. Cling to Jesus, sweet friend! So encouraged to hear that you’re studying his Word, too! He will reveal himself to you as you seek his face! “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” James 1:2 <3

  3. Keep up the writing. I look forward to each new post.

    I am so thankful the Lord spared me this struggle in high school. I was saved my first year of college, and ended up meeting my husband shortly after. I wasn’t digging deep into scripture, and hadn’t looked for wisdom from older women regarding the world of dating. My husband and I were in a very sinful relationship… me beginning to idolize him, as you’ve discussed, and him secretly being addicted to pornography. I’ve finally put the pieces together to see where my sin was (idolizing him) and that realization has helped me tremendously on my walk with the Lord.

    It is nice to hear other women admitting such “shameful” sin. Usually the only sin women openly confess are worry, etc. I haven’t met any other women who have confessed deeper sinful heart attitudes. It is pretty discouraging, actually. Thank you for your vulnerability with this blog. May the Lord bless you and your husband.

    1. I’m so thankful to hear how the Lord has worked in your life! He is so good! I agree, many women don’t share about their deeper heart struggles and I think it’s so important to talk about these things so that we don’t leave women feeling isolated. Thank you so much for reading!! I appreciate you so much!

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