brittleeallen

Heart Weeds (a poem)

Heart Weeds (a poem)

The crabgrass creeps in,
weeds reach high toward sun rays,
across the full length of what’s meant to be a flower bed.
They seek to overshadow every bloom and cover every inch.
But beauty reaches higher.
Abiding, abiding.

And I think of my own heart weeds.
The ones that try to prowl upon my soul,
telling stories of unbelief, loneliness,
and a God who forgets his promises.
But I believe
beauty reaches higher,
by the grace of God alone.
Pointing me to the Son.
Abiding evermore.

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But I’m Okay (a poem)

But I’m Okay (a poem)

And ever since that day
when I sat in your cold office 
hands on my lap,
ears hearing wounding words,
heart taking heavy blows,

I’m scared to tell someone when 
I’m not okay.

But really,
I’m okay.

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Do You Remember? (a poem)

Do You Remember? (a poem)

a poem for my sweet husband on our ninth wedding anniversary.


Do you remember
how in the beginning
I took offense to your joke
that I should sew?
“Not my type.”
Famous last words.

Do you remember
months of friendship and laughter and Bible study later
I changed my mind?
Nine years now and
I still choose you.
I will always choose you.

Do you remember
the waddling duck before us
as we walked the path
ahead of our friends
when we got lost in our conversation?
I knew you’d be my husband.

Do you remember
when we walked for the first time
our favorite trail
on a warm February day
and you held my hand in your own?

Do you remember
how I forgot the people in the pews
and wiped my lipstick off your lips
on the alter
when I became your bride?

Do you remember
how many bobby pins
you patiently took from my hair
before we could
become one?…

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A Safe Place from Wounding Words

A Safe Place from Wounding Words

Have you ever decided to open up to those around you only to have them use your honesty as ammo? What happens when someone who is supposed to protect and love you wounds you so deeply you begin to question everything? Maybe it was a friend, a fellow church member, or even a pastor. You start to wonder who can you trust? Who won’t use your honesty, vulnerability, struggle, or grief against you? Their words may even cause you to question your identity or worse, your salvation. Is there anyone you can run to now?

Friend, there is. You can run to your Lord who sees. More than that, he cares. He knows the nitty gritty details of your pain—the words that wounded you that you can’t share. He sees how confused you are and the questions racing through your mind. The injustice you’ve experienced is not lost on him.…

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So Does This (a poem)

So Does This (a poem)

A single tear
drips
on the bed
as I stare at the white wall we painted when I felt 
hopeful. 

Depression is a funny thing;
you don’t always see it coming.
But it comes
crashing
like those waves at the Outer Banks
that almost drowned me.
We laugh about it now, 
how silly I looked running from the shore.
But it scared me.

And so does this.
So does this.

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Heavy with the Weight of You (a poem)

Heavy with the Weight of You (a poem)

I’ve always been intimidated by poetry. Reading it sometimes makes me feel dumb and writing it? Goodness, I’m not sure I have any skill to offer up to a reader. But as I spent many weeks filled with many hours unable to walk postpartum, I started reading poetry. And this is why I now have a Google doc titled “Poems that are Probably Terrible”. I’m doing something brave here. I’m starting to share them—even the ones that feel a bit raw and untidy. I hope that they will resonate with a few of you.

I’ll be saving them all to a section here on the blog called “Poetry”. I’ve really enjoyed dipping my toe into this type of creative writing. I hope you enjoy reading them.


I sit,
cradled arms
heavy with the weight of something so
beautiful
breathtaking
unbearably precious.

My wrists ache under your body
and the joy your tiny frame 
has brought me.…

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