Brittany Lee Allen

Category: Miscarriage and Infertility

If I've learned anything in this season, it's that pregnancy isn't really about me anyway.

This Pregnancy Isn’t About Me

January 9, 2019

I wanted to share an update but felt unsure of how. The typical “Baby Allen coming soon!” announcement just isn’t within our reach. We hope

How do you keep bringing your broken heart before the God who allowed it to be shattered?

When “Thy Will Be Done” Becomes Self-Protection

January 7, 2019

I was restless. Many thoughts bouncing from one side of my head to the other, colliding and creating more thoughts. Silently, I watched the Black-Capped

I'm writing today with an honesty that many may judge as unwise. A person who has never experienced deep grief may write it off as unbiblical. Modern-day stoics might question where my faith lies. However, a quick look at the Psalms would shed light on what it looks like to lament before God. Before you, are words I long to say to the girl who is facing a similar road as me—the girl whose heart feels shattered under the weight of longing for motherhood. I write it for her, not me. And I write with tears for all of us: those who can't conceive and those whose babies are in heaven.

Infertility and Psalm 77

November 21, 2018

I’m writing today with an honesty that many may judge as unwise. A person who has never experienced deep grief may write it off as unbiblical.

My throat tightened but tears failed to follow. You know that old feeling...when sadness wedges itself in your throat, making it hard to breathe. It's like a century passes before you're able to swallow down the sorrow. Behold the sign of familiar pain—the kind that almost always lingers in the background like a pilot light. It's a symptom of a heart that longs, a heart that's sick, a heart where waiting feels endless.

Don’t Forfeit God’s Best for Your Life

November 15, 2018

My throat tightened, but tears failed to follow. You know that old feeling…when sadness wedges itself in your throat, making it hard to breathe. It’s like a

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. (Psalm 131:1-2)

Be Calm and Quiet My Soul

October 30, 2018

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But

There's a permanent indentation in my couch. The toll of first-trimester exhaustion from two pregnancies, as well as the miscarriages that ended them, has made its mark on our lives. That once new couch is just one evidence of it.

Beware the Draw of Laziness in the Midst of Suffering

July 10, 2018

There’s a permanent indentation in my couch. The toll of first-trimester exhaustion from two pregnancies, as well as the miscarriages that ended them, has made