Clearly, I’m not the first person to address the viral article “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” And I won’t be the last, I’m sure. My purpose in writing this article is not to top any of the other rebuttals or to fully break down the ridiculous statements Mrs Alexander has made. I could write many words exposing how she has elevated marriage to be the highest goal for a woman, completely disregarding single women. I could spend a whole blog post on her comment about the need for our husbands to explain the Bible to us, as if women don’t have the capacity to understand deep theology. And I could thoroughly address her twisted view of complementarianism, her legalism and how she darkens the beauty of the gospel with it.
But I want to focus in on something I’ve found missing in the conversation: Godly men aren’t looking for tattoo-less, debt-free virgins.…
It’s a tale as old as time. An exhausted wife looks at the mountain of laundry, and then at dirty dishes practically jumping out from the sink. She glances over, only to see her husband relaxing on the couch. She thinks to herself, I know what will make him help me. And thus begins her manipulation to get the help she desires.
The only problem is, sex is not and never should be a bribe.
The Purpose of Sex
There are multiple purposes for which God created sex. In Genesis 1:28, we see sex was a means to reproduce and fill the earth. While this is the most obvious reason God created sex, we can infer from the way he created it to work, between husband and wife, that he also created it to bring pleasure within marriage.
God is in control of the biological, emotional and spiritual affects of sex, because he created it.…
She lashed out at her kids again. She knows it’s wrong but just feels like she has no control over her tongue. “They just make me so angry!” she says.
Another woman is hit with intense temptation again. The weight is almost unbearable. She figures, if she gives in, she’ll at least have some relief. But there’s no relief in a porn addiction.
One girl feels panic coming into her heart like a freight train. She spent the day allowing her mind to be filled with fear and worry. As night falls, the anxiety presses upon her and she can’t breathe. She feels paralyzed, all while her body flails from the attack.
What do all these women have in common?
A desperate need for freedom.
Free in Christ
True freedom from sin only comes from genuine faith in Jesus. (Romans 6). Until God saves us, we cannot choose anything other than sin.…
Lately, I’ve been pondering my younger years. You know, those awkward high school days, walking the halls just trying to blend in or even sometimes trying to stick out for attention. I’ve been in both camps. Some of you are there now.
I was a broken girl with a major craving for acceptance and the fleeting eyes of boys. A dangerous combination.
While there are hundreds of things I wish I’d known then, there is one which peers down over the others:
Boys are a lousy God.
The affection of boys flees faster than the quickest honey bee. It lands to rest on another wild flower until the sweetness is gone, and off it goes in search of another. Even the steadiest of men fall tremendously short from the steadfast love of the Lord.
We need not look down on them, though, as our feelings shift and waver just as fast.…
In the latter days of our engagement I, like any bride to be, was looking forward to our wedding night, where I would “become one” with my Groom. (Genesis 2:24). I was nervous and excited to be “fully Known” by the man I loved. What I didn’t know was what fully known actually means.
After nearly 4 years of marriage I have learned that it’s about so much more than sex. To be fully known is to allow yourself to be fully given.
Naked and Shamed
We see this in the first marriage in Genesis:
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25 ESV)
My wedding night was beautiful except for one big elephant in the room: shame. And my unwelcome friend, Shame, followed me all throughout our honeymoon. Why are you here, Shame?!
“Remember how you used to use sex as a tool to make you feel loved?…
It all started with that first happily ever after movie, preaching the same old story of perfection found in a prince. He would be dashingly handsome and his charisma would forever sweep me off my feet. We would live, always fully enthralled with each other’s affection and never tempted to glance away.
Or so I thought.
They Lied To Us
Movies and Christian romance novels have lied to us, ladies. So many of us believe that once we find the right “prince,” our affections will never waver and our eyes will never wander. But that’s a lie…and a dangerous one.
Here’s the thing. Saying your vows isn’t like taking a love potion. At some point in your marriage, you will be tempted. We don’t like to talk about these things because of embarrassment, but there’s truth to be heeded here.
It’s no secret that I think my man is pretty hot.…