Clearly, I’m not the first person to address the viral article “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” And I won’t be the last, I’m sure. My purpose in writing this article is not to top any of the other rebuttals or to fully break down the ridiculous statements Mrs Alexander has made. I could write many words exposing how she has elevated marriage to be the highest goal for a woman, completely disregarding single women. I could spend a whole blog post on her comment about the need for our husbands to explain the Bible to us, as if women don’t have the capacity to understand deep theology. And I could thoroughly address her twisted view of complementarianism, her legalism and how she darkens the beauty of the gospel with it.
But I want to focus in on something I’ve found missing in the conversation: Godly men aren’t looking for tattoo-less, debt-free virgins.…
Lately, I’ve been pondering my younger years. You know, those awkward high school days, walking the halls just trying to blend in or even sometimes trying to stick out for attention. I’ve been in both camps. Some of you are there now.
I was a broken girl with a major craving for acceptance and the fleeting eyes of boys. A dangerous combination.
While there are hundreds of things I wish I’d known then, there is one which peers down over the others:
Boys are a lousy God.
The affection of boys flees faster than the quickest honey bee. It lands to rest on another wild flower until the sweetness is gone, and off it goes in search of another. Even the steadiest of men fall tremendously short from the steadfast love of the Lord.
We need not look down on them, though, as our feelings shift and waver just as fast.…
Standing in the sanctuary for as long as possible to avoid my destination, I watched as each family headed for the door to spend Christmas Eve together. All in a line, husband, wife and kids. Some would go home to open gifts. Others would wine and dine.
But I would go home to an empty apartment, barren of any Christmas cheer…again.
Where Are You?
I only wrote one letter to my future husband in my entire life before marriage, and it was on this Christmas Eve of which I write.
Where are you?! I can’t spend another Christmas Eve alone!! I’m so lonely. Please find me soon.
Through blinding tears these words were scribbled on to a random piece of paper in desperation to be heard.
This story has brought laughter to myself and many of my friends and family, now looking back. But that night, there was only room for lament.…
For 3 years, I have waited. Sometimes, I waited well. Other times…not so much. I’ve had dreams and desires for ministry that have gone unfulfilled and my heart has many times been frustrated. I wanted to devote time to writing and ministry. But I had to work. I wanted to be a homemaker and actually have time to clean our humble abode. But we needed my income. I felt as if I was in a never ending cycle of being still, becoming restless, which moved my heart to discontentment, and then back to humbly trusting the Lord and remaining still, yet again.
Today is the day I’ve anticipated for a long while. My heart is filled with excitement and uneasiness about the unknown, but mostly my heart is filled with joy. My Lord provided, in his time, in his way and in spite of my restless, struggling heart.
I start this new season with enough wisdom from the Lord to know that the excitement will indeed wear off.…
In the wee hours of the morning I gazed with tear stained eyes at the ring on my little finger. I was shocked but at the same time had known all along it would play out that way. He had broken up with me so many times I’d lost count. I don’t know why I thought it would be different once marriage was on the table but I wanted to believe it would be. Pain gripped my heart as memories flooded my mind of saying yes to the dress and flipping through bridal magazines. Plans were made and a date was set.
However pathetic, I begged him to change his mind as we spoke over the phone past midnight. After he’d dropped such a bomb on my heart I couldn’t let him hang up. “Please don’t hang up. This hurts so bad. How could you do this to me?!” I wanted him to feel an ounce of pity.…
No matter how many times I come home to an empty house it still feels lonesome. When I was single, I dreaded my vacant apartment thinking “Maybe one day I’ll have a husband to come home to.” Then I married my husband who worked until midnight for the first 2 years of our marriage. It always felt hard to drive to the place we called home knowing it would be many hours before he’d arrive. I’d say “Maybe some day he’ll have normal hours so I don’t have to be alone at night.”
That season was almost harder than my season of singleness and unfortunately I’m not sure I responded with as much faith as I did when I was single.
God had given me what I wanted but in my heart it felt like I only received half my portion.
Expectations of cooking my husband dinner and watching our favorite show or reading the bible together weren’t met.…