In the latter days of our engagement I, like any bride to be, was looking forward to our wedding night, where I would “become one” with my Groom. (Genesis 2:24). I was nervous and excited to be “fully Known” by the man I loved. What I didn’t know was what fully known actually means.
After nearly 4 years of marriage I have learned that it’s about so much more than sex. To be fully known is to allow yourself to be fully given.
Naked and Shamed
We see this in the first marriage in Genesis:
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25 ESV)
My wedding night was beautiful except for one big elephant in the room: shame. And my unwelcome friend, Shame, followed me all throughout our honeymoon. Why are you here, Shame?!
“Remember how you used to use sex as a tool to make you feel loved?…
It all started with that first happily ever after movie, preaching the same old story of perfection found in a prince. He would be dashingly handsome and his charisma would forever sweep me off my feet. We would live, always fully enthralled with each other’s affection and never tempted to glance away.
Or so I thought.
They Lied To Us
Movies and Christian romance novels have lied to us, ladies. So many of us believe that once we find the right “prince,” our affections will never waver and our eyes will never wander. But that’s a lie…and a dangerous one.
Here’s the thing. Saying your vows isn’t like taking a love potion. At some point in your marriage, you will be tempted. We don’t like to talk about these things because of embarrassment, but there’s truth to be heeded here.
It’s no secret that I think my man is pretty hot.…
“I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you.”
“Don’t you know you’re not the first woman to try to change him?”
These boringly predictable quotes came through my car speakers on the radio last week. Again, the objectification of women and distortion of God’s design for sex is promoted as this years “love” story for Valentines Day.
But it’s far from it.
Darker is Not Better
I am not writing this to change the mind of the culture. I don’t expect those outside of Christianity to agree with me. But with each Christ claiming woman I see promoting this movie, my heart aches. It aches for their indiscretion and for the watching world that sees them profess love for the Lord and then pay to see a movie that profanes his name.
Though this article is meant to get to the root issue behind the reason this movie is so popular, I have to address the obvious content.…
Right now, as you read this article, Christian women across the world are silently wrestling with lust. You might be one of them.
Clothed in shame over their failed attempts to fight on their own, they hide.
She’s the single girl who wasn’t taught correctly about purity and God’s design for sex. She’s the married mom of two, who’s struggle didn’t end when she found her husband, like she thought it would. She’s the teen with new desires. She’s the older women in the pew next to you.
And she’s in desperate need of help before it’s too late.
Truly, it’s an epidemic.
This epidemic of women pretending like lust doesn’t exist in all of our lives. We walk around as if we have fully eluded its grip, unscathed.
But most of us, if not all, haven’t.
The Reality of Lust Among Christian Women
Out of all of the articles I’ve written, one has stuck out as most popular by a landslide.…
I laid there, anxiously awaiting the morning and the events to come. Soon, I would put on my button up shirt and comfy shorts, just like they told me. I’d sit in a room with some of the dearest women to my heart, as curls were strategically placed in my hair. I’d rest my eyes as my friend brushed shimmery colors upon my eyelids.
And then, I’d slip on that dress. The one I had longed to wear all my life.
I can’t even begin to explain the load of emotions I felt that night and the next day. If I could sum them up in just one word it would be…redemption.
Only years before, I could have been named among Gomer and the adulterous woman. I was a slave to sin who lacked the desire for freedom. My body and heart were not places of purity, but rather, tools to get what I wanted; to feel loved–even for just a moment.…
Lately, my Pinterest feed has been flooded with bra-less, stomach-baring, booty short-wearing young women. Pictures neatly pinned to the “My Style” board of so many teens and young-20’s, showing the world what their ideal style is.
And my heart breaks.
Before the Lord saved me, I could have been one of those gals in the pictures. In fact, I was. I’m the first to admit that my clothing choices before Christ were quite promiscuous. This lined up perfectly with my heart that was equally immoral.
The way I dressed displayed what resided in my heart: A deep desire to be noticed, sought out and viewed as “sexy” by men. In a word, sensuality.
And it ruled my heart.
What Rules Your Heart?
The Bible doesn’t have a ton to say about modesty and there definitely aren’t any specific rules. This makes it a hard topic to approach. Since God is sovereign over his Word, he must have done this for a reason.…